'"The walls we build with our words are the only barriers to our limitless potential."— James McPartland
I've noticed something fascinating: the conversations we have—both with ourselves and with others—shape our entire reality. That means what happens in your life is largely defined by the language you use. So, I'd like to share some insights that might change the way you think about communication.
What many of us don’t realize is how often we limit ourselves and those around us with our own words. Think about it. Every situation we encounter is filtered through our past experiences. We define situations, people, and events with our words, locking problems and difficulties into place. Before we know it, we’ve built a wall of limitations around ourselves.
It’s like having a GPS that only knows the routes you’ve taken before. You might think you’re being efficient, but you’re missing out on potentially better paths.
And it’s all a fear response—our brain’s way of trying to protect us. Ironically, in trying to avoid repeating the past, we end up repeating it. Think of it as being stuck in “survival mode.” We’re so focused on being right about what’s wrong that we keep alive the very things we fear.
People often talk about their future using the language of their past. They mistake their memories and interpretations for wisdom, instead of seeing them for what they really are: life-limiting stories they’ve constructed, situation by situation.
We then surround ourselves with people who reinforce our existing beliefs, conversation by conversation. The continual rinse-and-repeat of this cycle makes change nearly impossible, because we have too much “evidence” to support our belief that this is just “how life is.”
And with every engagement, every conversation, we further fortify that wall of limitations. Behind it, we feel comfortable, but it’s also a trap.
It’s time to break free and begin confronting our conversations!
Now, don’t worry when I say "confrontation"—I’m not suggesting you pick fights in the boardroom at work or with your partner at home! What I mean is, having the courage to engage in a few uncomfortable conversations with yourself.
Ask yourself:
What would happen if I gave up my need to be right?
How is my current story blocking me from my desired future?
Where is my protective story actually serving as an "insecurity blanket"?
Whose approval am I really seeking?
Here’s what I tell my clients: For one week, try noticing what you automatically look for in situations, how you interpret what’s not being said, where you seek agreement from others, and where you’re not even open to hearing the opposing argument.
Remember, true leadership—of both yourself and others—isn’t about maintaining comfortable conversations. It’s about having the courage to start uncomfortable ones that lead to growth.
With that at the forefront of your mind, your next transformative conversation is waiting. Are you ready to have it?
Mac 😎
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