"Like architects, we can design a future that equips us to make a difference for ourselves and for those around us."— James McPartland
Imagine you are walking into the office of your mind, where two metal filing cabinets are carefully placed and organized—one holds the experiences of your past, and the other awaits the possibilities of your future.
The first cabinet, labeled "The Past," groans under the weight of memories, particularly those filed under "Survival." These are the dog-eared folders of stressful events, disappointments, and damaged relationships that we've preserved, believing they hold the blueprint for our future safety.
This cabinet is where we’ve stored our defense mechanisms and protective behaviors. And each time life presents a challenge, we instinctively reach into that "PAST" filing cabinet, pulling out familiar responses, then moving them into the cabinet labeled "The Future," so we know what to do.
But then what happens? Once we've lived through difficult moments and survival scenarios, the cabinet meant to hold space for our future possibilities becomes filled to the brim with files from our past.
What if we became willing to empty out our future file cabinet completely? What would there be to fear?
Well, there would be greater unpredictability—a feeling as unsettling as walking into a dark room without knowing where the light switch is. We prefer predictable actions and outcomes because they give us the comfort of control. Even if what we attempt to control is painful, at least that pain is familiar to us. The pain of what we can't predict, however, seems greater.
But if we emptied that future filing cabinet of all our familiar protective responses, what would become possible for us? If we become masters of observation, catching our reflexive behaviors as we go to reach for that old filing cabinet, what new opportunities could become available to us?
I think we could begin to create inspiring and compelling futures, like architects. Instead of constantly fixing what's broken like a repair person using old blueprints, we could design something entirely new—a future that equips us to make a difference for ourselves and those around us.
Here are some practice questions as you build your future filing system:
What would it be like to not constantly feel on the defensive in this relationship?
What is a better way to listen intently, instead of preparing myself for what I think the other person is going to say next?
What if I were the person creating this new reality, instead of waiting for circumstances to change?
Who do I admire most, and what are their most admirable traits? How can I become more like that?
Besides myself, who in my life will benefit greatly from my creating an inspiring future?
Let's all stop filing our future with photocopies of our past and begin filling those empty filing cabinets with bold new possibilities of our own design.
Think on that.
Mac 😎
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